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The Questions to Ask When Dating While Polyamorous
Dating in general is daunting for a lot of people, add in that you're now dating as a polyamorous person?! That can come with a lot of challenges including the biggest one of, how??
I have to tell on myself because I'm kinda the oddball that loves dating. But that's awesome for you because you get to learn some of the things I do that actually make dating fun!
I think one of the most important things in dating and getting to know someone is making sure you're compatible.
You may be thinking... Uh duh, Elizabeth, isn't that the whole point of dating?
Yes! But, even though it may be obvious when I spell it out like that, it's not obvious when you're actually dating.
Why is that?
Because mostly when we're dating we're more pre-occupied with if they are going to like us, even we're going to look like an idiot and embarrass ourselves, thinking about how things could go terribly wrong, talking with our friends about messages on dating apps, overanalyzing every single move we're making and they're making... we're kind of exhausting.
And we forget that it's about compatibility!
So what if you could actually just relax, be yourself and have some frickin' fun!
It's sooo much fun getting to know people. I think it's especially fun in polyamory or non monogamy because we're less likely to feel pressured to make sure the relationship moves up the relationship escalator.
So how can we do that? How can we just relax, take a chill pill and enjoy getting to know this other human?
Questions.
Getting curious about them, about you, about what potential may be here.
Asking the right questions can help clear the pathway for both of you to truly see what is here between you and what is not.
In that way, we don't have to worry about "what we need" we can just show up as our authentic selves and let the questions be our guide.
So I've created this free resource of polyamorous dating questions!
These are some of the questions that have really helped me on my journey, and they've been able to help my clients, as well!
Enjoy!
Testimonials
Rusty Gabhardt
Gym Manager
Elizabeth is a phenomenal relationship coach. I have been in a polyamorous relationship for almost five years. About a year ago, I started dating another partner and the three of us have been living together in the same house for the last six months. The living situation has been good, but my first partner and I were growing apart. Our lives were moving in very different directions while my newer partner and I are very much on the same life path. This had created for me a lot of “managing” of the situation and was very exhausting. I was also very concerned about breaking her heart.
After a thirty minute [session] with Elizabeth, I knew exactly what I needed to do. Elizabeth asked questions to help me distinguish what I already knew needed to happen and I went home resolved to have the conversation. There is a new freedom within my relationship with my now former partner and my current partner. With Elizabeth’s coaching, I was able to deal powerfully with what was actually happening in the relationship and to handle it with grace and love.
Brian Prince
Megan Taylor
Founder, Bold Babe Collective
The Love Empress!!! I wanted to meet with Elizabeth because I was seeking clarity on my dating journey - to figure out what I was looking for and next steps to call LOVE into my life. Elizabeth helped me realize through the course of our call that I actually am quite clear on what I am looking for, but that the biggest place I’ve been getting stuck is that I’ve been forcing myself to date at a pace that ...well...feels uphill and isn’t sexy. So she’s really helped guide me into accepting that where I am currently is the perfect place to call in my partner - and to do that from a place of spaciousness, peace and power. From here I’m feeling more expansive and trusting.
Tayler Kurtzman
Owner, Level Up Massage
When I first started coaching a lot of the goals I had were around learning to love myself, figuring out what I wanted in life and how to get there. My communication needed improvement, especially when I was talking to women I was interested in. I also wanted to figure out what I wanted in a relationship. Over the course of my time working with Elizabeth, we started to achieve this. We began with words of affirmation to myself. We deep-dived into my mental state, figuring out how I view myself and how I could boost myself up and be more proactive in my life and get things done. When it came to dating, I learned to be more vulnerable. I noticed this led to more productive dates and much more engaged and meaningful conversation with people. We talked a lot about what I want later on down the road and how I can achieve that. I was learning how my mental state affects not only me but how I view the world. Now that I have gone through the course, I'm much more confident. I have an easier time talking to people and communicating my feelings and intentions. I have been able to carry that into my own personal business, which is fantastic.
I'm so much happier. I want to be in a relationship down the road, I'm still searching. I've had better dates than I've had before and now I know my own self-worth. I will not settle for something just to fill a void because I'm so full as it is right now. So I highly recommend Elizabeth. She does a great job. If you're willing to challenge yourself and be vulnerable with yourself, it's well worth it. Give it a shot.
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