Your Relationship's Toolkit
Relationships are an art which makes you a relationship artist! And all artists need tools.
Remember, creating "relationship art" is not a 'have to' it's a 'want to.' Regardless of where you are at on your relationship journey, learning more about how you can create satisfying and fulfilling relationships is only going to make things better for you and the people you love.
Love Deeper Workbook
Unlock the Pathway to Healthy and Fulfilling Polyamorous Relationships
But what that can look like and the structures that people can create are far and wide. People can be in what looks like a traditional partnership and they see other people outside of the relationship. It can look like a triad where three people are all dating each other. It can look like a constellation of different connections where some people are dating and some people are just connected because they are sharing the same partner.
And there's more vocabulary and language around it that continues to grow based off of new or common understandings. Words like kitchen table polyamory, parallel poly, solo polyamory, and much much much more.
So with all of these different dynamics and different ways that relationships can get expressed, how can someone like myself who helps people create happy, healthy, harmonious polyamorous relationships create something that is going to help a majority of people?
By using non monogamous and relationship principles to help people navigate their inner and outer changing landscape as they learn more about themselves, what they want, and how they want to build these dynamic relationships.
That's exactly what the Love Deeper e-Workbook does. In its brief but potent 67 pages I have broken down polyamorous relationships into 3 different categories of growth with different tools in each category to work through on your own or with a partner.
The goal for creating this workbook was to give you something that you could use not just one time but over and over and over again as different things arise in your life and in your relationships.
These tools and techniques will help you continuously on your polyamorous journey. I urge you to get this book out any time that you are feeling stuck, at a loss or just have seemingly run out of options.
I kept this book at the foundational relationship level for the exact purpose that foundation is key. No matter how many years you've been polyamorous, this book can be helpful in overcoming what you're facing.
What's in the workbook?
The Love Deeper e-Workbook is broken down in 3 main sections: It Starts With You, Sex, Sexuality and Eroticism, and Building Healthy Non Monogamous Relationships.
PART ONE - IT STARTS WITH YOU
All healthy relationships start with you. You are the common denominator of your life and your relationships. In order to have the harmonious poly relationships that you want, then it's important to take some time to consider what yourself and who you want to be in relationships.
For example, we've grown up in a mononormative world. There are things that we have been taught about relationships that we continue to carry around with us subconsciously that hurt the health of our non monogamous relationships. Being able to identify those beliefs and switch your brain into a more non monogamous mindset is going to drastically improve your and your partners experiences.
SETTING GOALS: State, create and be clear on what you want. A roadmap is no good without a destination.
EMPOWERING BELIEFS: Shift your mindset from the default one you've been given from society, friends and family, into a mindset that aligns with who you are and your heart.
HEALTHY HABITS: Success is built on habits. It's true in all areas of life including relationships. Create the daily and weekly habits that are going to have you be a better partner to yourself and others.
INTERVIEW YOUR CIRCLE: We often don't truly know how others view us, even the people who are closest to us. Why is this important? Because often we view ourselves more negatively than the people who love us. Why not look at yourself through the eyes of the people you love and begin to adopt their love for you as your love for you. See how it shifts who you get to be for yourself and others and what you see is possible in relationships.
THE EMOTIONS WHEEL: It's important to be able to speak to and name your emotions in intimate relationships where your emotions are... well... intimate!
SPEAKING LOVE FRAMEWORK: Be able to communicate your thoughts and emotions in a way that opens up conversation; have it feel like an invitation for co-creation, not a heavy topic you are both now obligated to talk about.
DISMANTLING PATTERNS: Whether they are patterns from your past or patterns that keep showing up in your current relationship, learn how to end the loop once and for all.
PART TWO - SEX, SEXUALITY AND EROTICISM
Even if you identify as asexual, you still most likely engage in or need to talk about sex, sexuality and eroticism with your partners or potential partners.
Now there is a lot of stigma around these topics in broader society and that absolutely impacts the polyamorous community. In fact, you are probably impacted by this stigma whether you realize it or not.
From what we've been taught in school, to how it was talked about (or most likely not talked about) in your home, to how your friends talked about it, to things that have happened in this area of your life... it can be a lot to unpack.
And it's very important and indeed liberating work to unpack all of these things for ourselves and in our intimate relationships.
What's in Part Two?
BOUNDARIES FLOWCHART: Don't just learn how to set boundaries, learn what you want to say yes to, what you want to say no to, what you are willing to negotiate and when you are willing to negotiate. Take all the power back. Take. It. Back. And be fun and sexy while doing it.
LET'S CREATE A GAME: This game is for all levels. :) But seriously, whether you like to be vanilla and you just want to have more communication or if you are an expert level kinkster who just eats this stuff up, this game is for you! It's a 'build your own adventure' spicy game. Please, please, please enjoy. <3
ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR SXX LIFE: This exercise is a powerful tool in deciphering what it is that you want, what is in the way of getting what you want, how you're going to remove those barriers and then how you're going to have beautiful conversations about what you want that leaves everyone feeling heard and seen.
PART THREE - BUILDING HEALTHY NON MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS
Notice how building healthy relationships is the last section. Hmmmm.... Let's talk about that.
Often times on our journey to having healthy relationships we skip ahead to what it is we want it to look like and we miss the part about how we're being, what we're doing, what has been imprinted on our brain and on our heart that might be preventing us from getting the picture of what we want.
Many of the polyamorous folks I have interviewed and worked with over the years have share with me how the thing that they didn't expect but that they attributed most to their polyamorous journey is personal growth. Almost verbatim what people tell me is, "Yes, of course, all relationships help you grow, but I was monogamous for x years and when I started practicing polyamory I had to grow in ways that I would have never thought of or realized. This journey has been so much more about personal growth than I ever expected and am so grateful for that."
So let the growth continue. Embrace the growth and the challenges and rewards that come with it.
What's in Part Three?
TYPES OF NON MONOGAMY: There are so many! Let's start learning terms and considering what may work best for you. Don't worry, you don't have to fit into any of the boxes!
TYPES OF ATTRACTION: Did you know there are at least 7 different ways that you can be attracted to people? How you're attracted to someone is the basis for that relationship, what is possible, and the conversations there are to have in doing so!
RELATIONSHIP DYAD: Use this tool anytime there is friction. Seriously. This is an incredible communication tool that I use in every area of my life and as soon as my clients learn it they start using it everywhere, too. It works.
WEEKLY CHECK-INS FRAMEWORK: Another personal testimonial to weekly checkins. I can directly correlate the times that are harder in my relationships to times when weekly checkins have dropped off. When you take the time to check in every week, even if there isn't much to check in about, you create a habit of communicate, a safe space to talk about challenges, and a weekly reminder for how much love and gratitude you have for each other.
CELEBRATION AND NEXT STEPS: Sometimes when we're "working" on relationships we forget to have fun. We forget to talk about what's going well. We forget to talk about the wins. Whatever you're putting your attention on expands. So make sure you're putting attention on what's going well.
THE COMMUNITY: Get access to our growing community! Please don't try to do this alone. There are so many people like myself and the amazing humans in the community that want you to have happy, healthy, harmonious relationships.
Testimonials
Rusty Gabhardt
Gym Manager
Elizabeth is a phenomenal relationship coach. I have been in a polyamorous relationship for almost five years. About a year ago, I started dating another partner and the three of us have been living together in the same house for the last six months. The living situation has been good, but my first partner and I were growing apart. Our lives were moving in very different directions while my newer partner and I are very much on the same life path. This had created for me a lot of “managing” of the situation and was very exhausting. I was also very concerned about breaking her heart.
After a thirty minute [session] with Elizabeth, I knew exactly what I needed to do. Elizabeth asked questions to help me distinguish what I already knew needed to happen and I went home resolved to have the conversation. There is a new freedom within my relationship with my now former partner and my current partner. With Elizabeth’s coaching, I was able to deal powerfully with what was actually happening in the relationship and to handle it with grace and love.
Brian Prince
Megan Taylor
Founder, Bold Babe Collective
The Love Empress!!! I wanted to meet with Elizabeth because I was seeking clarity on my dating journey - to figure out what I was looking for and next steps to call LOVE into my life. Elizabeth helped me realize through the course of our call that I actually am quite clear on what I am looking for, but that the biggest place I’ve been getting stuck is that I’ve been forcing myself to date at a pace that ...well...feels uphill and isn’t sexy. So she’s really helped guide me into accepting that where I am currently is the perfect place to call in my partner - and to do that from a place of spaciousness, peace and power. From here I’m feeling more expansive and trusting.
Tayler Kurtzman
Owner, Level Up Massage
When I first started coaching a lot of the goals I had were around learning to love myself, figuring out what I wanted in life and how to get there. My communication needed improvement, especially when I was talking to women I was interested in. I also wanted to figure out what I wanted in a relationship. Over the course of my time working with Elizabeth, we started to achieve this. We began with words of affirmation to myself. We deep-dived into my mental state, figuring out how I view myself and how I could boost myself up and be more proactive in my life and get things done. When it came to dating, I learned to be more vulnerable. I noticed this led to more productive dates and much more engaged and meaningful conversation with people. We talked a lot about what I want later on down the road and how I can achieve that. I was learning how my mental state affects not only me but how I view the world. Now that I have gone through the course, I'm much more confident. I have an easier time talking to people and communicating my feelings and intentions. I have been able to carry that into my own personal business, which is fantastic.
I'm so much happier. I want to be in a relationship down the road, I'm still searching. I've had better dates than I've had before and now I know my own self-worth. I will not settle for something just to fill a void because I'm so full as it is right now. So I highly recommend Elizabeth. She does a great job. If you're willing to challenge yourself and be vulnerable with yourself, it's well worth it. Give it a shot.
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